1
00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:06,240
When we reach Munty,
we find the man from another world

2
00:00:06,240 --> 00:00:08,360
and bring him back.

3
00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:09,440
I estimate...

4
00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:11,280
(SNIFFS)

5
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:12,760
..another 17 leagues.

6
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:19,120
How did you know?

7
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:22,000
Assassin stuff.

8
00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,640
BARBARA: Brian!

9
00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:40,960
Barbara? What are you doing here?

10
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:43,200
I thought we said our goodbyes
last night.

11
00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:46,600
Now, I don't want to worry you,
but I have consulted the tarot,

12
00:00:46,600 --> 00:00:49,760
and the cards say that you won't
reach your final destination.

13
00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:51,640
Barbara, I'll be fine. OK?

14
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:53,600
I'll get to
the City Of A Thousand Towers

15
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:56,520
before the solstice,
and someone there will send me home.

16
00:00:56,520 --> 00:00:57,840
I just need to get my ticket.

17
00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:59,640
Ugh!

18
00:00:59,640 --> 00:01:00,920
I just need...

19
00:01:00,920 --> 00:01:02,960
I need to get my ticket, Barbara.

20
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:04,760
Get my ticket.

21
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:09,560
Oh, erm, I have made you
some sandwiches for your journey.

22
00:01:09,560 --> 00:01:10,720
They're your favourite.

23
00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:12,880
Cheese?
Fish.

24
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,800
Thank you.

25
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,760
As I say, I'd better get my ticket.

26
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,720
Oh, erm, and I...

27
00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:22,280
I've written you something.

28
00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:25,840
Now, don't read it now,
read it on the coach.

29
00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:27,120
Not now!

30
00:01:31,280 --> 00:01:33,480
One ticket to the
City Of A Thousand Towers, please!

31
00:01:33,480 --> 00:01:34,520
Certainly, sir.

32
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:35,640
Luxury or standard?

33
00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:36,880
What's the difference?

34
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,600
Well, with the luxury class,
you sit at the front of the coach,

35
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,640
so you do arrive
that fraction earlier.

36
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:42,880
Standard's fine.

37
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:44,960
OK. And which month
would you like to travel?

38
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:48,240
Er, month? Well, now.
Isn't there one today?

39
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,440
Sold out. Lady before you
bought all eight tickets.

40
00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:51,760
Eight tickets?

41
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,680
Yeah,
she's travelling with seven dwarves.

42
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,760
Well, couldn't they just...
No.

43
00:01:57,240 --> 00:01:58,720
So there's no...
No.

44
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,680
Looks like I'm staying.

45
00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:06,280
I'll just take that...that letter.

46
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:11,120
(QUIETLY) Yay!

47
00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,840
Tomorrow, for one night only,
the Munty Play.

48
00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,800
The greatest show
in the Western Marches.

49
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,560
Villains - we've got 'em.

50
00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:23,560
Princesses - yes, please.

51
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,880
Will true love prevail?

52
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:29,160
And will the king save the day?
Find out tomorrow. Thank you.

53
00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,000
Pathetic.

54
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,920
Come to the play, sir?

55
00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:38,680
Not now, mate.
It's one night only.

56
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,160
What are you doing?

57
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:41,960
I'm a theatre promoter.

58
00:02:41,960 --> 00:02:45,760
You're not, though, are ya?
You're one up from a lamppost.

59
00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:49,600
Is that what you want to be?
A lamppost?

60
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,560
I did always want to be
a woodcutter.

61
00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:53,000
Well, do that!

62
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:56,720
You don't want to be stuck in Munty,
looking like a tit.

63
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:59,320
Be free.

64
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,840
Apparently,
there's a throck on the loose.

65
00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:09,240
Nasty vicious things.

66
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,000
Must be what went through my bins
last night.

67
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:13,040
Left a right mess everywhere.

68
00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:16,600
There's a reward for catching it.
20 sovs.

69
00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:18,280
Wanted dead or alive.

70
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,920
Ideally dead.

71
00:03:19,920 --> 00:03:21,640
I'm off. Keep the change.

72
00:03:21,640 --> 00:03:23,960
Thanks. Hey, you never paid me!

73
00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:30,480
I need new customers.

74
00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,360
Anyone's welcome in my pub.

75
00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:34,760
(WHISPERS) Apart from orcs.

76
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:35,960
What can I get ya?

77
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:37,760
Pint of salt water, please, mate.

78
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,600
What are you doing here?

79
00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,320
Drowning my sorrows.

80
00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:44,160
Getting away from the misery
of it all.

81
00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:47,600
Working on that building site
for the Protector.

82
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:48,800
What this - the leisure centre?

83
00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:52,080
What? (LAUGHS)
That's no leisure centre.

84
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,320
Cheers.

85
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,240
What is it, then? Sculpture park?

86
00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:56,520
Not another pub, is it?

87
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,520
(BURPS)
That's classified information.

88
00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,680
Although Krunt knows why
I shouldn't tell ya,

89
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:01,720
the way they treat us.

90
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,000
You know, they think
we're just great big lunks

91
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,240
that go round drinking salt water
and eating rocks.

92
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:08,480
Another salt water?
Oh, yeah, please, I'm parched.

93
00:04:08,480 --> 00:04:09,600
Eh, got any rocks?

94
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,040
No.
I'm Steg, by the way.

95
00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:15,840
Maverick, rebel, agitator.
I didn't catch your name.

96
00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,120
Fffffffkenbub.

97
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:20,840
Right.

98
00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:23,480
Erm, so, they treat you badly,
do they, Fff...?

99
00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:27,200
Fffffffkenbub. Yeah!
Yeah, I got to work 18 hour days.

100
00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,880
And on top of that, we've got to use
this levelling powder.

101
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,960
Sounds dangerous.
Yeah, too right.

102
00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,480
Yeah, one of my men,

103
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,760
Rrrrrrrrrbitbot,
got his horn blown off.

104
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,720
Well, you should fight back.
You, my friend, are being exploited.

105
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,880
I think it's your round.

106
00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:49,240
(GROANING)

107
00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:54,360
Are you OK?

108
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,440
It's that vicious throck -
came at me with his beak,

109
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,840
caught me by surprise.

110
00:04:58,840 --> 00:05:01,280
Mm.
Help me!

111
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:11,000
I must get back to the Keep.

112
00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,680
(GROANS)

113
00:05:17,680 --> 00:05:21,040
Erm, your wing's broken.

114
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:22,440
Does this hurt?

115
00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,160
(SCREAMS)

116
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,240
What about this bit?

117
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:29,640
(SCREAMS)

118
00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:31,120
Yeah, just a bit.

119
00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:34,560
So I've got five days to get
to the City Of A Thousand Towers.

120
00:05:34,560 --> 00:05:37,120
It's tight, Brian,
but there's still hope.

121
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:38,680
Could I get there by horse?

122
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:39,960
Too dangerous.

123
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,920
What about by ship?
Well, maybe.

124
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,320
That's never been tried.

125
00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:48,360
Why not?
It's inland, across a desert.

126
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:51,040
Well that's it, then,
I'll never get home.

127
00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,360
Of course, there is one way

128
00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,000
you could be transported
to another world.

129
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,400
Go on.

130
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:59,880
Using the magic...of the theatre!

131
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,800
Oh, I just met these idiots
in the square. Awful people.

132
00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,960
But what they do is so clever.

133
00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:09,240
They pretend
someone's being stabbed.

134
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,080
Then, in the end, they haven't been.

135
00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:12,880
Except for two years ago.

136
00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:14,920
Brutal business, theatre.

137
00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,800
The last play I went to see
was Hamlet when I was at school.

138
00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,040
Four hours long
and my arse has never forgiven me.

139
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,560
This is the famous Munty Play!

140
00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:24,560
Specially written each year,

141
00:06:24,560 --> 00:06:26,680
then performed
all across the Western Marches.

142
00:06:26,680 --> 00:06:27,680
Hang on.

143
00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,600
It says here's they're playing
the City Of A Thousand Towers!

144
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,040
Their solstice spectacular.

145
00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,720
That's how I get there!
I'll go with them!

146
00:06:35,720 --> 00:06:37,120
I wonder where they are.

147
00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:38,760
Ah, you know what players are like.

148
00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:39,760
They'll head straight

149
00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:41,760
to the cheapest,
shoddiest tavern in town.

150
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:45,360
Greetings, landlord.
Three large ales.

151
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,240
Do you take credit?

152
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,520
Allow me.

153
00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:51,880
Hello.
Hi.

154
00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:53,560
Brian Weaver.

155
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,240
Keep talking.

156
00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:58,680
I dunno what you're talking about!
It wasn't me!

157
00:06:58,680 --> 00:07:00,200
You can't prove it anyway!

158
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,640
What is this place?

159
00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:03,960
Just a shop.

160
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:06,600
Full of lots
of perfectly legal things.

161
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,960
Howell, look, it's his wing.

162
00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,160
It hurts here.
Ow!

163
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,720
And here.

164
00:07:15,720 --> 00:07:17,960
(SCREAMS)

165
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:21,240
Fairy magic. It's very difficult.

166
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,000
Oh, can you help? Oh, please?

167
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,560
Well, I'll give it a go.

168
00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:30,640
Wings heal!

169
00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:34,240
Wings mend!

170
00:07:34,240 --> 00:07:38,400
Tricky. Wings fix!

171
00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:41,480
Krunt.

172
00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:45,320
Wings, back to how they were
in the first place!

173
00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:49,440
Ha! There you go. Any better?

174
00:07:49,440 --> 00:07:52,000
(SCREAMS)

175
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:56,080
Bloody nightmare.

176
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:59,200
Tom has absolutely left us
in the lurch.

177
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,600
What's happened to him?

178
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,720
He's gone. He just left.
To become a woodcutter.

179
00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,720
Said he was just a lamppost.

180
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,000
(SCOFFS)

181
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,880
Well, without Tom, we've got
no-one to hang out the leaflets,

182
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:14,920
or set up the theatre, or cook,
or clean, or wash our clothes,

183
00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,080
or hand out the refunds.

184
00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:18,000
He didn't even pick up the play.

185
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,680
I could help out.

186
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,440
Huge responsibility, Brian.

187
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,320
Huge.

188
00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:27,680
I could be the new Tom.

189
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:29,840
I could come with you guys
all the way to the...

190
00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:31,480
..City Of A Thousand Towers.

191
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,240
Well,
you'd have to muck out the horses.

192
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,720
And de-louse the wigs.

193
00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:36,920
Sounds OK.

194
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,560
And of course you'd have to apply
my anti-fungal cream.

195
00:08:39,560 --> 00:08:42,320
Yep, love to. Definitely.

196
00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,400
I'm not sure you're up to it, Brian.

197
00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,560
Oh, I love the theatre.

198
00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:51,160
Sure.
Love it.

199
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,600
And it would be a huge honour
to work with you guys.

200
00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:57,040
Plus everyone round here says
that you're the best actor

201
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,160
in the whole...area.

202
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:01,640
Mm...

203
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,720
Well, I mean, we're a collective,
but I think I can speak

204
00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:05,480
for all of us when I say,
welcome abroad, Brian.

205
00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:09,520
Welcome to the most important job
in showbusiness.

206
00:09:10,560 --> 00:09:14,240
See the play, tomorrow night,
one night only.

207
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:18,720
Take in a play, sir.
The Brevit Players are in town, miss.

208
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,920
Don't forget to see the play
tomorrow night. One night only.

209
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:24,840
Play?

210
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,880
Yes?

211
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,400
I'm here to pick up the play.

212
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,800
Excellent. Come in!

213
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,280
Here it is.

214
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,680
Wait! It's not finished yet.

215
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,360
I have been struggling
with the ending

216
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:50,160
for the last three months.

217
00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:54,840
(GASPS)I have it!

218
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,040
The end.

219
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:03,200
There.

220
00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:10,600
The Saga Of Olaf The Bendy.
Is there only one copy?

221
00:10:10,600 --> 00:10:13,720
Course.
Do you think I'm made of arms?

222
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:23,040
See, the wild throck is attracted
into the alley by the cheese.

223
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:25,880
It then enters
into the magical circle,

224
00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:31,240
whereupon the petrifying spell
is activated,

225
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:35,480
encasing said creature
in a block of granite!

226
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,040
(LAUGHS)

227
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,720
Are you doing pest control now,
Howell?

228
00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:42,120
Humane street management, Steg.
For money.

229
00:10:42,120 --> 00:10:43,520
In that case, you can pay your...

230
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:47,040
How does he do that?!

231
00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,600
Same again, Herman.

232
00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:54,400
After all, I am celebrating
with my orc brethren, yes!

233
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:56,560
Thanks to my leadership,
a petition is being presented

234
00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,400
to the authorities as we speak.

235
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,360
Those players gone?

236
00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:06,080
Yeah, thank Krunt.
They were getting on my nerves.

237
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,600
I thought you wanted more customers.

238
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:11,280
Not actors, or orcs.
Everyone else is very welcome.

239
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,800
(EVERYONE QUIETS)

240
00:11:16,800 --> 00:11:19,680
(GROANS)

241
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:23,240
I'll take a large sherry
and two halves of beer, please.

242
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,800
What are you doing bringing
a fairy in my pub?

243
00:11:24,800 --> 00:11:27,200
His name's Chestnut,
and he's my friend.

244
00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,760
Are you mad? Get him out of here.

245
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:35,240
That is very extremely rude, Herman!

246
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:38,320
Come on, Chestnut, we're leaving!

247
00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,840
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)

248
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:47,760
(RUSTLING)

249
00:11:50,920 --> 00:11:52,400
Hello?

250
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,320
Who's there?

251
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,080
(THROCK GROWLS)

252
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:02,640
(THROCK ROARS)
Ah, ah!

253
00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,560
Oh, no, not the script!

254
00:12:04,560 --> 00:12:09,200
(YELLS) No!

255
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:10,800
Sadness.

256
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:12,880
Oooh...

257
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,760
Oh, Brian, my boy!
Did you get the text?

258
00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:20,600
Oh, erm...

259
00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,760
No, there's a slight problem.

260
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,760
What, there's no play?

261
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:27,480
Well, it's not that important, is it?

262
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:29,160
I mean, there are loads of plays.

263
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,720
Maybe you could just do
last year's one again?

264
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:34,600
You can't repeat a play!
It's treason.

265
00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:36,680
Remember what happened to
The Pockle Strollers?

266
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:38,560
(BOTH INHALE SHARPLY)

267
00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:40,000
So what, why hasn't he written it?

268
00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,040
He's written it.
He's written it, has he?

269
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:46,320
He's written it, he's just making
sure that it's really good.

270
00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:47,320
Mm-hm.

271
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:49,560
So he will definitely have it
done by tomorrow.

272
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,080
Tomorrow? We're on tomorrow.

273
00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,440
Morning, tomorrow morning.

274
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,640
Yeah, we're...we're rehearsing
from 7am!

275
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:59,240
Exactly! That's when he'll do it.
That's when it'll be here.

276
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,520
Uh-huh?
Yep.

277
00:13:01,520 --> 00:13:05,360
Well, a bit more leafleting, then,
from you, isn't it? Right?

278
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:08,800
Off you pop.

279
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:13,000
Yeah, uh, Brian, are these wigs
going to de-louse themselves?

280
00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:16,560
No.
No?

281
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,480
Oh.
Oh, oh, right! Yeah.

282
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,520
Bit quicker.

283
00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:25,800
Door!

284
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,280
Pompous!

285
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,920
Pompous?! How am I pompous?

286
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:31,440
Oh, right.

287
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,440
Alright, Bri?
No. Really no. It's the play.

288
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:47,520
Ah, can't wait.
The entire town'll be there.

289
00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:48,840
And the Protector,
he never misses it.

290
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:53,840
Well, funny story, the play
sort of got totally destroyed.

291
00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,520
What?!
But the entire town'll be there!

292
00:13:56,520 --> 00:13:58,000
And the Protector,
he never misses it.

293
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,360
I know!

294
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,640
Now I need to rewrite
a whole new version

295
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:02,840
by tomorrow morning

296
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:05,320
or bang goes my lift
to the City Of A Thousand Towers.

297
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:09,480
Do you know anything
about The Saga Of Olaf The Bendy?

298
00:14:09,480 --> 00:14:11,920
Love that story! It's a classic!

299
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:16,280
Alright, Brian, get this down.

300
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,280
Now, there's these three brothers
who go off to get their fortune.

301
00:14:19,280 --> 00:14:22,800
Now, Olaf, the eldest brother,
he goes off to this golden palace.

302
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,840
No, it's not three brothers.
It's three palaces.

303
00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,560
Course, that's it.
Yeah.

304
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:31,680
Inside the gold palace is a dragon,
silver one has a witch.

305
00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,600
And in the third palace
there's a princess.

306
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,960
What was that made of?
I want to say...biscuits?

307
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,320
Anyway, Olaf tricks
the dragon into eating the witch.

308
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,040
No, no, no.
The princess tricks the dragon.

309
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,560
So where does the frog come in?
Well, the frog turns into a dragon.

310
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:44,680
Who eats the biscuits!

311
00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,960
No, no, no.
The princess eats the biscuits.

312
00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,160
Oh, forget it.
No, no, no. It's always the frog!

313
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,480
No.
I'll do it myself.

314
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,600
It was the frog who's watching,
and the dragon...

315
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,200
There we go.

316
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,880
Oh, what's the point?

317
00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,480
I can't fly. My fairy days are over.

318
00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:04,200
Stay positive!

319
00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,400
Let me read your palm.

320
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:15,960
This is your lifeline.

321
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:18,200
There's a fork.

322
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,360
Oh!

323
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,960
I see a big decision ahead.

324
00:15:23,960 --> 00:15:26,640
Oh?

325
00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,320
I'm not sure what this line is.

326
00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,040
It's a scar.
Got it from punching someone.

327
00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:33,200
Well, I'm sure you had your reasons.

328
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:34,400
Nah.

329
00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:36,640
What's this one?

330
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,520
Another scar.
This one?

331
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:41,760
That's a scratch,
but it'll probably become a scar.

332
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,880
Well, at least your heart line
is strong.

333
00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:51,600
(BONES CRUNCH)
Too tight.

334
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,480
Oh, sorry. (LAUGHS)

335
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,440
(EXHALES)
Sorry.

336
00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:09,160
And now...we wait.

337
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:15,640
Yonder lies the Gold Palace.

338
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,400
Will I save the princess
and be the hero?

339
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,640
Be...

340
00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:30,200
To be or not to be,
that is the question.

341
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:36,920
(ROOSTER CROWS)

342
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,520
Argh!

343
00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:44,280
Krunt!

344
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:50,560
Hm.

345
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,360
Double Krunt.

346
00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,760
(SIGHS)

347
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,440
(CLOCK DINGS)

348
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,000
Well, a very interesting take
on the Saga Of Olaf The Bendy.

349
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,240
Is it?

350
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:37,080
Yeah. Pretty edgy stuff.

351
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,320
Yeah, well, Fenton said
that he wanted to give you guys

352
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:41,080
something more challenging,

353
00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,640
as you were the best actors
he's ever worked with.

354
00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,160
Those were his words.

355
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,040
He's a bloody good writer.
That's Fenton.

356
00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:51,480
Well, I think it's time
we got it on its feet

357
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,840
and add some meat to the bones.

358
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,960
I'll let you get on with it.
Sure.

359
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,920
Oh, well,
what about the fishmonger scene?

360
00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:58,920
What?

361
00:17:58,920 --> 00:18:01,520
There's always
a funny fishmonger scene.

362
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:04,800
Oh, yeah. No, oh.

363
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,440
Yeah, Fenton's dropping that
this year, so...

364
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,920
He's dropping the most popular part
of the play, is he?

365
00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:13,160
No.
No?

366
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:17,280
No, not the most popular,
but he's going to drop it off later.

367
00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:18,400
Oh! Oh!
Yeah.

368
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,760
Dropping it off?
Yeah, yeah. He's working on it now.

369
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,000
He's just making it really...

370
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,720
It's going to be so funny.
Great.

371
00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,960
A funny fishmonger.
Yeah.

372
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,880
Yeah.
How can it not be?

373
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:28,320
Exactly! Well...

374
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,480
Excellent. Alright.

375
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:32,560
Well, in that case...

376
00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:35,720
Anti-fungal cream, and on we crack.

377
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:41,520
I am absolutely furious!

378
00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:44,360
(GROWLS)

379
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:47,440
Large glass of salt water,
please, mate. Extra salt.

380
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:49,720
Everything alright?

381
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,520
We all signed that petition, yeah?

382
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:56,720
Me, Rrrrrginbob
and Thhhheeebojab

383
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:57,760
and Heee...

384
00:18:57,760 --> 00:18:59,000
Skip the names.

385
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,360
We gave it to the Protector
and he threw it back in our faces!

386
00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,640
Guess how much he's cut
our larva rations by?

387
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:06,760
Half?
More.

388
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:08,880
A third? No wait, that's less.

389
00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:10,880
No, all of it.
(GASPS)

390
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,560
Now we've got no rations
and we've got no breaks.

391
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,080
He's put us on half pay. I give up.

392
00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,360
No! Never give up!
You've got to fight back.

393
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,680
Show the Protector
he can't treat you that way.

394
00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,080
But how?

395
00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:28,440
You know that levelling powder?

396
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,520
Yeah, I can't work without it.

397
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,200
What if it accidentally disappeared?

398
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,280
Oh!

399
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,160
I like it, yeah.
Yeah.

400
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,480
Yeah.
Yeah.

401
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,120
I'm going to do it. Thanks, Steg.

402
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:50,040
Yeah, my pleasure, Fffffffkenbub.

403
00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,520
Stupid name.
Yep.

404
00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:56,120
Oh, Chestnut!

405
00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,600
Ooh, what a lovely big bunch
of flowers.

406
00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:01,000
I know, I'm starving.

407
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:05,160
(BOTH CHUCKLE)

408
00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,880
Oh, look how much better
your wing is.

409
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,360
You'll be flying again in no time.
Yeah.

410
00:20:10,360 --> 00:20:12,040
(FLUTTERING)

411
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,240
Oi, Chestnut. Where you been?

412
00:20:15,240 --> 00:20:16,760
His wing's broken!

413
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:20,240
Fairy with a broken wing.
You disgust me!

414
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,080
Hand over your prisoner.

415
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,480
She's not a prisoner.
Her name's Barbara.

416
00:20:25,480 --> 00:20:28,240
And she's my...friend.

417
00:20:28,240 --> 00:20:31,560
Friend? Punch her!
(GASPS)

418
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,720
Come along, Barbara.
We don't have to listen to this.

419
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,760
Mock them!

420
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:39,120
Bad fairy!

421
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:42,840
Why don't you fly away?
Oh, I forgot, you can't!

422
00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,720
(ALL LAUGH)

423
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:58,840
Ah! (CLICKS TONGUE)

424
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:02,160
Get up! There you go. Steady.

425
00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:03,720
Steady.

426
00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:08,960
That's it, yeah.

427
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:11,200
And stop!

428
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:15,160
(LAUGHS) Yes!

429
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:20,640
(FOGHORN SOUNDS)
(LAUGHS)

430
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,480
I thought you were going to catch
the throck?

431
00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:30,440
What and miss the play?

432
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,040
Never!

433
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,920
I put a spell of irresistibility
on a piece of cheese.

434
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:38,280
If the trap is triggered,
this'll go off.

435
00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:53,600
Ruler of the Western Marches,
the gardener of all human happiness,

436
00:21:53,600 --> 00:21:56,560
his serene masterfulness,

437
00:21:56,560 --> 00:22:01,000
bow your heads
for the Lord Protector!

438
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,520
(AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)(HORN PLAYS)

439
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,480
(HORN CONTINUES)

440
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,400
(HORN CONTINUES)

441
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,800
Silence!

442
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:23,480
Thank you.

443
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:26,200
Clap!

444
00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:31,600
Start the play! Now!

445
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:35,360
Break a leg.
What?

446
00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:37,800
Break a leg.
Why would you say that?

447
00:22:41,400 --> 00:22:43,600
Ah, Olaf, my son,

448
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,760
it's time for you to go out into
the world and seek your fortune.

449
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,760
Yes, Father.

450
00:22:46,760 --> 00:22:49,920
Yonder there are three palaces
made of gold,

451
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,640
silver and possibly biscuits.

452
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,640
Inside these, you'll find
some of the following -

453
00:22:54,640 --> 00:22:58,840
witches, princesses, dragons
and frogs - so look out for them.

454
00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,920
I will, Fa...
Good lad.

455
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,680
To be or not to be,
that is the question.

456
00:23:04,640 --> 00:23:09,320
Yes, that is the question.
A very good question.

457
00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,440
Elementary, my dear Olaf.

458
00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:13,480
Once you have removed
everything else,

459
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,320
what's left has to be the answer.

460
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,480
They do say that life
is like a box of chocolates,

461
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,760
you never know
what you're going to get.

462
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:22,320
(LAUGHTER)

463
00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:27,120
Olaf, you must leave the gold palace
before the Dark Lord arrives.

464
00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,400
So we meet again, young Olaf!

465
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:32,560
I used to be like you.

466
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:34,200
Now I'm your master.

467
00:23:36,120 --> 00:23:37,400
Produce your light stick.

468
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:41,400
(AUDIENCE GASPS)

469
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:43,760
You murdered my father.

470
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,480
No, Olaf, I am your father.

471
00:23:45,480 --> 00:23:48,320
(AUDIENCE GASPS)

472
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,840
So maybe you're going to be
the one that saves me.

473
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:57,560
But after all,
you're my wonder wall.

474
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,720
And then we danced all night
to the best song ever.

475
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,440
I think it went - oh, oh, oh.

476
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:08,960
I think it went - yeah, yeah, yeah.

477
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,920
It was the best song ever.

478
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:18,840
I think it's time to go
to the fishmongers!

479
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,560
(AUDIENCE CHEERS)

480
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:28,000
I'm going to wipe that smile
off his face.

481
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:33,040
(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

482
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,760
You call that a hake?
(AUDIENCE CHEERS, LAUGHS)

483
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,360
It might be time to leave now.

484
00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:52,600
Huh?

485
00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:54,160
Well, I've done what you suggested.

486
00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:55,920
I've stuck a whole keg
of levelling powder

487
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,480
under the Protector's chair.

488
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:59,760
Boom!
What?!

489
00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:10,680
(GASPS) Look, it's healed!

490
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,480
Doesn't matter.
I'm never going back.

491
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,200
I'm done being a fairy.

492
00:25:18,200 --> 00:25:19,800
I want to be with you, Barbara.

493
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:26,720
Steg, what are you doing?

494
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,680
Trying to find a way out.

495
00:25:28,680 --> 00:25:30,880
Why?
You know, just do a bit of shopping.

496
00:25:30,880 --> 00:25:32,160
What?

497
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,480
Plus there might be a bomb
in the building.

498
00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:35,960
Might?!

499
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,360
Is. Uh...

500
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,360
Lovely jubbly.
Olaf, you plonker!

501
00:25:44,360 --> 00:25:46,880
Listen! Listen, everyone!

502
00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:48,120
We've got to get out of here.

503
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:49,760
There's a bomb in the theatre!

504
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:53,760
(AUDIENCE LAUGHS)
No, I'm being serious!

505
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,000
This place is going to blow sky high!

506
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,720
(LAUGHTER)

507
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,400
HYSTERIC: We're all going to die!

508
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,720
(LAUGHING INTENSIFIES)

509
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:20,720
(EXPLOSION)

510
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:25,720
What's that?
Levelling powder, at the theatre?!

511
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:27,680
That's a category one incident.

512
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:31,480
Still, nothing to do with me.

513
00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:35,800
Go, Chestnut. They need you.

514
00:26:35,800 --> 00:26:38,280
Go and be a fairy.

515
00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,400
I'll never forget you, Barbara.

516
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:50,280
(SIGHS) Bye.

517
00:26:52,120 --> 00:26:54,080
The coach?!

518
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:55,520
No matter.

519
00:26:55,520 --> 00:27:00,600
But how are we supposed to get
to the City Of A Thousand Towers?

520
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:04,480
Yeah, but don't you see, Brian?
We don't need a coach.

521
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:09,080
We can go anywhere we like
using the magic of theatre!

522
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,400
Fuck off!

523
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:16,360
Somebody here has tried
to assassinate the Protector,

524
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,640
and therefore is guilty of treason.

525
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,800
(FOGHORN)
I'm going to find out who that is.

526
00:27:21,800 --> 00:27:24,440
(FOGHORN)

527
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:27,000
And by the time I'm finished
with you all...

528
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:28,680
(FOGHORN)
What is that noise?!

529
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,080
It's me, sorry.

530
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:31,600
(FOGHORN)

531
00:27:34,360 --> 00:27:35,400
(FOGHORN STOPS)

532
00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,760
Caught the throck.

533
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,320
There's a few sovs coming my way.
Shut it!

534
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:40,640
Sorry, sorry.

535
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:43,560
Now, I want to know who did this.

536
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,960
Here's the guilty party!

537
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,680
I grabbed him as he was being
attacked by this throck.

538
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:51,920
I knew you could do it, Chestnut.

539
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,360
Shut it!

540
00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,040
Welcome back, Chestnut.

541
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,720
Now, don't let anyone out.

542
00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:03,280
So if that's the throck,
what's eaten my cheese?

543
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:16,200
I've got to say, you did
a brilliant job on that play, Brian.

544
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,800
Loved the barman character.
What an idiot!

545
00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,440
Where did you get your ideas from?

546
00:28:20,440 --> 00:28:22,760
You cost me my reward money.

547
00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,600
Don't blame me,
blame Barbara's boyfriend.

548
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:27,200
He's just a friend.

549
00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:29,880
Well, I did get a reward
from the Protector

550
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,200
for saving his life,

551
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:32,800
so drinks are on me.

552
00:28:32,800 --> 00:28:35,240
You are alright, Brian.
I have always said so.

553
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:36,720
Top it up, Herman.

554
00:28:38,040 --> 00:28:39,400
What's this?

555
00:28:40,640 --> 00:28:44,280
It's a petition.
Look at their stupid orc names.

556
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:48,720
Thhhhpepor. (LAUGHS)

557
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:51,040
Oh, what's this drawing on the back?

558
00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:58,320
That's
the Protector's building plans.

559
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:03,480
(GASPS) He's building a henge!

560
00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,320
Capable of storing
vast amounts of magic.

561
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:12,840
Isn't a vast amount of magic
exactly what I need to cross worlds?

562
00:29:12,840 --> 00:29:15,120
A powerful blast of magical energy
from the henge,

563
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,360
coupled with the super solstice,
plus a large fee...

564
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:19,120
Brian!

565
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,440
I think I can get you home.

566
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,360
 And we danced all night

567
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,760
 To the best song ever

568
00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,480
 We knew every line

569
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:31,680
 Now I can't remember

570
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,600
 How it goes but I know

571
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,520
 That I won't forget her

572
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:37,480
 'Cause we danced all night

573
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,640
 To the best song ever

574
00:29:39,640 --> 00:29:41,640
 I think it went "oh, oh, oh"

575
00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:43,440
 I think it went "yeah, yeah, yeah"

576
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,960
 I think it goes

577
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,240
Whoo!

578
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:50,120
 Best song ever

579
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,920
 It was the best song ever. 

580
00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:55,920
Captions by Red Bee Media

581
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,920
Copyright Australian
Broadcasting Corporation